To my closet friends... (my reply)

Okay, so I debated about whether to write this post after todays events but I feel like I need to air my side of view and I hate how I feel that is directed just at you - it isn't. It was just because you wrote about it on your blog too :) I think you both need to understand my point of view and not straight away say 'no we didn't, no we didn't' because yes yous did and I hate being seen as the bad guy in this because to be quite honest I haven't done anything wrong.

'Three's a Crowd' This saying wasn't made because it had no truth in it - it does but not all the time. Before now everything was fine but as you grow older, you change as a person -it's only natural after all and I know I have but not in a negative way. I've been described as too 'mature' and that 'I don't laugh enough' by both of you. To me this is actually ridiculous and I could actually laugh about it because if my two closet friends think this is a correct description of me, I have to question if they actually no me at all. Yes I am mature, I'm nearly 16, but to me this is not a bad thing. Important exams are coming up, and at this time you make future decisions about what you want to do and yes, I do my work, get my results and 'stick-in' school but if that means I'm too mature than I'm sorry but I'm not going to change. And, for the 'I don't laugh enough' its actually a crazy thing to say - of course I laugh at funny things, maybe not all the time but how does that put me in a bad light. I do not take everything too seriously, even though you think I do! Maybe I just don't laugh and giggle as much as you do but not everybody is the same and think the same things are funny! So to me, what you said is totally untrue and I have people that will account for that.

When it came to both of you fancying two boys in our year, I wasn't bothered, of course I wasn't but what I felt and said about your obsessive stalking habits was pushed aside. Yes, it was a bit of fun and you really liked them, I just feel like I was left out and maybe you didn't realise ... but I did try and tell you. As you said in your blog boys shouldn't get in the way of friendships and I suppose in a few ways they did, you apologised today and I forgave because I was kinda over it. You don't need to apologise for liking them and I also thought it was fun, but not all the time and you need to understand that.

This next part may become over a little harsh but it's probably because it is the part I feel most strongly about it. You both have no right to say that 'Sometimes you are too overprotective and treat us like children when we have a laugh' (quote directly from your blog) This is totally not true and I think it's totally unfair for you to say this as I know for a fact that I do not treat you as if you are children and that I try to be your mother (as you said today) - I don't want to be, I'm 15!! I don't put yous down for something that I don't find funny and I am your friend. Remember that please.

Next, on the agenda is the fact that you talk about me behind my back - whether that be little things or a full blown rant. You will probably deny this when you first read it, but it is true. Everyone says little things but and no one can help it but it isn't nice when you find out from someone else. If you have a problem, please just say it to my face! I would actually prefer that so I know what the issue is and what you actually think about me. And, also just a small point to say I don't care if you do things without me after school, I honestly don't really care, but don't try to hide it from me to protect my 'feelings' because if that was the case you wouldn't do it behind my back. Don't say you didn't hide it - you did!

Finally, there were only TWO times you asked me to come out with both of you and I was busy - ONCE when I was invited to sleep at one of your houses - I couldn't come because a) I would be back late from the Metro Centre with my grandma and b) I though it may be awkward with us falling out earlier on in the week - and I told you all this. Also, ONCE when you asked me to come out around where we live on a Sunday, I couldn't come because I was out with my family - which I also told you. So that was TWO times NOT MORE so please don't say it was. I'm not the only who hasn't attended am I, sometimes we can't all be free on that one day, so don't make out that I am the only one and try to make me feel guilty about it. Because I don't and won't.
Oh, and I invite our other friend (no names mentioned) because she is also my friend and I like going as a four. Sorry if you have a problem with that, just say so... and not behind my back. I don't see how it is a bad thing that I invited her to the cinema with us, you invite people too.

And on a more pleasant note, I hope that we are not too different to still be friends but things haven't been right for a couple of months. I know its not know ones fault in particular but things have obviously turned this way for a reason. All friends have their ups and downs. We've had plenty of both but more ups I can only name a few off the top of my head but maybe this was just one of our 'downs' - a pretty big one - but a 'down' all the same. Things can only look up, can't they? Like you said water under the bridge. x

(Oh and I am sorry that it seems to all be focused on you but you're the one that seems to be the spokesman in all of this haha and it isn't just aimed at you)