Tuesday, 5 July 2011

Idealistic vs Reality

A couple of weeks ago Hazel wrote about a theory by Carl Rogers that everyone had an ideal self and a real self. She then wrote about her own self and real self and her post was really honest and inspiring. So, I have chose to post about my real and ideal self.

I believe that everyone has that part of them that wants to be different from what they actually are and it's the same for me. My ideal self would be pounds and pounds lighter than what I actually weigh, I would be two inches taller and I would be more confident. However, my real self is heavier in weight than I want to be to look and feel good, is quite small in height and is more self conscious than I should be in groups of people.

My ideal self would be able to look better for a job as the real self would like more money in her purse. This ideal self would look and look for possible jobs and would be more confident than my real self. I wouldn't feel nervous and silly in a job interview (not that I've had one but I will for sure be a bag of nerves)

Rebecca, my real self, loves sitting with her head in a book, being organised and would prefer being tucked up in bed watching The Notebook than going out drinking on a Friday night. But I wish I was more like my ideal self where I wouldn't be as bothered what people thought of me and had a little more spontaneity. My real self is interested in history but my ideal self would be able to pick up an artifact and know the time period and the history that surrounded it. She would be able to read Wuthering Heights, knowing what it all of the words meant and it not taking weeks to finish.

Finally, my ideal self would not have a pain in the arse nut allergy unlike my real self. She wouldn't be severely allergic to peanuts, coconuts, almonds, hazelnuts, pistachios, Brazil nuts etc. and wouldn't have to check the wrapper or box of food every time she ate to see if it had nuts in. My ideal self would be able to go to a restaurant or abroad without worrying that as soon as I put a fork full of food into my mouth, I wouldn't have to jab myself with my epi-pen.

My ideal self will probably never happen, my personality will not change (I do love my laid back but organised, kind and friendly approach but I wish I had more confidence) I will not grow taller but I can still try and lose weight (which I'm doing at the moment) But my ideal self would not be my real self, even though I would love to be able to know the history behind different artifacts and historical pieces and be able to spout out information as soon as I saw something relating to it.

The thing is though not all of the ideal self that I want to be would really reflect who I honestly am.


  1. I'm glad I inspired you to write this post, I know how difficult it can be to be so honest. Our ideal selves are quite similar in that we wish to look different, be smarter and have more confidence. Maybe it's a teenage girl thing?

  2. hi sweety, love ur blog.. really intresting! hope to read a new post! :) kisses!


  3. Beautiful post. Yes, the person we wish to be rarely coincides with who we actually are, but if we identify what we want with words, we are more likely to find a way to become who we want to be.

    Remember, though, who you are now isn't necessarily who you will be tomorrow. We have the ability to change who we are to fit how we live, and the world around us is constantly changing us without our even realizing it. Be proud of who you are today. But know that who you are tomorrow depends on how much you're willing to control who you become.

    My mom taught me that. She says that nobody can control anyone, but themselves. You can control who you are. Things like nut allergies, or height are determined by genetics. But your personality, the way you live your life, that is up to you.

    And now that my lecture is over, I bid you adieu! Thank you so much for sharing that beautiful, inspiring post! I think your real self is an incredible person, and that your ideal self is a beautiful goal.

    One slight suggestion, and then I swear I'll leave you alone: don't worry about the parts you can't change. But the parts that YOU are in control of, well, those are things to think about, aren't they?

    I'll have to try this exercise for myself. Don't think I'll be quite as brave and share it on the internet, but you never know. Thanks so much for having the guts to share both who you are and what you want with total strangers! Have a great day!

    P.S. Hope I didn't upset you with the lecture. You just inspired me to add my (unasked for) 2 cents worth. Happy writing!

  4. i love your honesty! ♥ and i think it's great that you're going to be working towards being your ideal self. you're really a wonderful person :)

  5. This is such a lovely post.. I used to want to be taller but I'm not too bothered now. But my ideal self would definitely be good at interviews not panic and dither and say silly things! I love your honesty here and hope you can change some of things you want to! xxx

  6. Thank you everyone! It means a lot :)

  7. I really liked this post. I love your honesty. I believe we all have things that we would love to change about ourselves, myself included. You're wonderful the way you are!


thank you! your lovely comments always put a smile on my face :)